Forced to make contact

Firstly I like to apologise if all my current posts are all about the issues that I’m having with my sister but I really need to vent and this is why I started my blog, to be my personal diary & sounding board.

Anyway I made contact with my sister, I sent her a text saying I know we need to talk, but I have something on every night (busy with Christmas functions) and then we are heading away for the weekend, so it will have to be the following week sometime. Also told her I love her no matter what.  She didn’t answer my text.

That night I get a visit from my Dad, saying that he wants us to sort it out, he rather us do it soon than later, especially with Christmas Day fast approaching.

So I rang her. Oh was she happy to hear from me, NOT, she was so short & abrupt.  Everything was my fault…….She thought it was unfair how I reacted.. Oh my god has she been living under a rock. Of course she knew that I would react badly. Firstly because she knew of my infertility issues and secondly because I knew the in’s & out’s of her unstable relationship.  The funny thing is all the issues that she has with her partner (which she was the one who told me about them, so they were from the horse’s mouth, so to speak) she is now defending & offering excuse for him.  Go figure…

Anyway I just tried to relay that I didn’t agree with how she told me and that I need time to digest it, so I can get a grip on my own emotions.  I told her it’s just a reminder of my own heartache, disappointments & failures over the last 9 years.

I also told her I just want her to be happy. I asked her, so are you happy? She said she is extremely happy!!!…. Well, the question is why isn’t she acting like it... 

I have had friends/family in the past tell me that they are pregnant (one on one mind you) & they have understood my reaction entirely and they never let my reaction over shadow their emotions of being immensely excited of being pregnant. So why should she.  She is the one who has got what she wants, she is the one that is god damn pregnant, NOT ME.  Shouldn’t she be over the moon & bouncing off the walls (I know I would be) and just show some understanding to my emotions, I not asking her to mope around. But she is too busy being angry at me & making me out to be the bad person.

The thing that gets me, she can easily hold this grudge against me but she has forgiven her partner over & over & over again for the way he has treated her…..

Also why is it, with the announcement someone is pregnant it erases all the bad stuff that is happening in their lives.  Even with my own issues aside should I be jumping for joy for her just because she is pregnant, does this overrule all other emotions I have about her volatile relationship.  Are all the bad emotions easily erased just like that because she is having a baby???

Infertility sucks………

Cheers

Bee xxx