Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Advice needed pleasssseee!!!!

Just going thru a tough time at the moment. So my sister dropped the bombshell last week that she is pregnant. From my last post you will see all the issues I have with that, especially about her relationship.

Anyway she rang last night & I was out having a fabulous dinner with my work girls. However Mr W spoke to her.  She had so many issues.  She wanted to know while I hadn't rang her (Well because I decided to give myself some space for me to digest the situation).  Also she said that her announcing that she was pregnant was suppose to be the best day of her life but she left our parents extremely upset.  I do totally get that, if or when we announce we are having a baby I would hate for someone to rain on my parade.  

BUT she just doesn't get it. She doesn't understand how she announced it was like I felt like I ambushed. She doesn't get the heartache & disappointments we have lived for the last 9 years. Anyone getting pregnant is like a slap in the face, it's just another reminder we aren't there yet.  She doesn't get that how can I be happy for her when I know her relationship is an unhealthy one, which she will bring an innocent baby into.  I know she is having a baby for all the wrong reasons - maybe this is not my place to judge... God knows, I'm confused.

I haven't spoken to her myself yet as I said before, giving myself some space to digest the situation.  But I don't know what to do.  I don't know what to say.  I love my sister & want her to part of my life going forward but it's just a tough situation.

Any advice would so muchly appreciated. Have you had to deal with anything similar.


Bee xxx


  1. Wow! What u r feeling is 100% normal! I am blessed I guess that my 2 bro's and 2 sis are in no way ready for kids. I guess put yourself first. Be happy for her, but take time for you too. Life sux hairy dog balls at times.. And this is a perfect pop bum example!

  2. give yourself time, dont be too hard on yourself. she needs to try to understand how you feel. its so very hard. im sorry. i hope in time it becomes easier. Im new to following your blog. please feel free to check out mine

  3. I think you do need to put yourself first. I feel like sometimes we (being infertile) need to constantly apologise to those that get knocked up so easily because we don't want to hurt their feelings. I had a similar situation with a friend (not a sister which is worse) who sent me the same text message as everyone else. I mean she was my bridesmaid! Eventually we had it out and I explained to her that a simple phone call or personalised text message would have at least shown me she cared enough before broadcasting the news. There is a fabulous article "tips for family and friends" on Haidee's blog (maybe baby or maybe the loony bin) that you could show her. it truly does demonstrate how it feels to be in our shoes.

    big hugs. enjoy xmas. look after YOU first and then you sister second.

  4. Thanks everyone for making me feel normal. Also agree I just need time, not sure if my sister will be happy with that but she doesn't get a choice in it.
    CW I have checked out the "tips for family & friends" on Haidee's blog which I found really useful, thank you.
    I agree with you Red Power Ranger it does suck hairy dog balls, sometimes I just want to cut those balls off.