Tuesday, January 11, 2011

She is just fat

So I saw my very new pregnant sister on the weekend.  It is still really awkward with her at the moment.  We are civil to each other but we both still don't make an effort to make converstions.

I can't bring myself to make polite conversation with her about her pregnancy or even look at her.  At this stage I'm still numb & still trying to deal with my emotions.   I don't feel comfortable in asking her things such
"Oh how are you feeling?"
"Have you had any morning sickness?"
"When are you due?". (I know in August sometime but not sure what date).

... I know this IF thing is shit & if I wasn't dealing with this, I know I would be feel different but I can't help the way I feel at the moment. Maybe it selfish but it's helping me survive.

But the funny thing is. (Well I & Mr W think it's funny).  She is only 7 weeks pregnant but she looks & is acting like she is 4 months.   Honestly I'm not making it up, if anyone saw her they would automatically think she was 4 months pregnant.  But the truth is she is just FAT & she was exactly the same before she fell pregnant.  But now she is wearing her fat belly as a badge of honour and acting like the entire thing is a pregancy belly, which isn't the case.

I know it may be mean or cruel, as I'm aware that people so start to show at different times, but this is my own insecurities & frustrating showing..

I long to be the fat one too...

4 comments:

  1. Rant fat boombalada all you want if you feel better. And she will only get bigger and be jeleous of your size. My friends with multiple kids call me a skinny bitch, but I have to have something over them don't I?!! Just wait till she starts whinging, and prepare yourself to hold back the bitchslap...

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  2. Thanks Red Power Ranger. I really felt like a bitch writing this, but this is how I feel at the moment. Maybe not rational but are you when dealing with IF.

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  3. I was just about to say the same thing! Rant away. it is your blog! I have a friend who is a larger woman and she was totally trying to make out that she was just pregnant but I wanted to say sweetie the only thing I am seeing is your fat arse still so don't give me the whole I am pregnant not fat scenario. I am truly sorry that things aren't right with you and your sister. I get frustrated that people who get pregnant are supposed to be coddled but those that can't are just expected to understand. Hugs and best wishes xoxo

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  4. Thanks CW you always seem to know the right thing to say

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